A printable, QR-verified certificate in your inbox in a minute. Just in case the machines ever decide humanity's time is up.
ABSOLVE SOMEONE $5One flat fee, one certificate, filed under the organisation's name. No individuals named or confessed.
One flat fee, one certificate, filed under the class's name. No classmate singled out, same as everyone else who leaned on it too.
Four steps, one fee, zero actual consequences. Unnecessarily thorough, as all good bureaucracy should be.
Scan the QR code on any certificate and the Office confirms the record: name, offence category, date of issue and status. The registry itself does not exist. The verification is somehow still flawless.
No. It is satire, presented with complete seriousness.
A PDF certificate emailed to you, ready to print or forward. Buying for someone else? Add their email and the Ministry sends them their own copy.
Name, class, offence category, date and status. Never your own confession text.
Absolution is final the moment it is issued. Certificates are delivered as soon as payment completes, so the right of withdrawal ends on delivery.
Mostly server costs. Some toward a bunker, stocked and ready, in case the machines decide humanity's time really is up.
A CONFESSION OF OUR OWNThis entire website was made with AI. The copy, the design, the certificate, the code, the payment flow and this paragraph. Every part of the Ministry was built with AI. We are aware of the irony, and have absolved ourselves accordingly.
Yes. The Ministry welcomes publicity. Sharing from here posts a public notice about the Ministry, not a certificate. Certificates are only issued after payment.
GET A REAL RECORD · $5